As we approach the new year, many of us are tempted to set grand resolutions. “This is the year I’ll finally get fit,” or “I’ll be more productive,” or “I’ll save more money.” Yet, while these goals sound great in theory, the reality is far less inspiring.
The Problem with New Year’s Resolutions
The truth is, resolutions often fail. Research shows that up to 80% of New Year’s resolutions are abandoned by February. Even more sobering, only 8% of people actually achieve their resolutions by the end of the year.
Why? Because resolutions tend to be based on vague goals, unrealistic expectations, or external pressures. They focus on what we should do rather than what genuinely matters to us. When we inevitably stumble, these failed resolutions add to our stress, making us feel like we’re falling short before the year has even begun.
There’s a better way to approach the new year—one that aligns with who you are and supports lasting resilience.
Start with Values Instead
Rather than setting fleeting resolutions, begin by identifying your core values—the principles that reflect what’s truly important to you. Values provide clarity, direction, and purpose. Unlike resolutions, which are often rigid and outcome-focused, values are foundational and flexible. They help you navigate life’s challenges while staying true to yourself.
My new book, Start With Values (Penguin Random House), is a guide for uncovering your core values. It helps you reflect deeply and identify the values that form the bedrock of your decisions and actions.
How to Discover Your Values
Discovering your values isn’t a one-size-fits-all process. Here are some steps, inspired by Start With Values, to help you articulate yours:
1. Reflect on Peak Experiences:
Think about moments when you felt proud, fulfilled, or aligned with your best self. What values were you honoring during those times?
2. Identify Your Heroes:
Consider the people you admire. What qualities or principles do they embody that resonate with you?
3. Clarify What Matters Most:
Ask yourself questions like:
• What brings me the most joy and meaning?
• What would I stand up for, even in difficult circumstances?
• What qualities do I want to be known for?
4. Choose and Prioritize:
Narrow your list down to 3-5 core values. These should be principles that resonate deeply and guide your actions and decisions.
Once you’ve identified your values, the next step is to bring them to life through daily actions.
Build a Web of Micro-Habits
Values become transformative when they’re paired with consistent action. This is where micro-habits come in—small, manageable practices that align with your core values.
For example:
If one of your values is Health:
- Micro-habit: Take a 10-minute walk after lunch each day.
- Micro-habit: Stretch for 5 minutes in the morning.
If one of your values is Connection:
- Micro-habit: Call a loved one every Sunday.
- Micro-habit: Practice active listening during conversations.
If one of your values is Growth:
- Micro-habit: Read for 15 minutes before bed.
- Micro-habit: Reflect on one lesson learned each week.
These micro-habits create a web of supportive actions that keep you grounded in your values, making change feel achievable and sustainable.
Values and Resilience
Living in alignment with your values isn’t just fulfilling—it also strengthens your resilience. Here’s how:
1. Clarity During Challenges:
When life throws curveballs, your values act as a compass. They help you make decisions that align with your authentic self, reducing uncertainty and stress.
2. Consistency and Confidence:
By acting on your values through micro-habits, you build a sense of self-trust and consistency. You know you can rely on yourself, no matter what.
3. Meaning and Purpose:
Values connect your daily actions to a greater sense of meaning. Even difficult tasks become worthwhile when they’re aligned with what matters most to you.
4. Emotional Stability:
Living by your values helps you stay emotionally centered, providing stability and strength during times of change.
Start This Year Differently
This year, ditch the fleeting resolutions and choose a path that’s anchored in what truly matters to you. Start with your values. Use them to guide your decisions, shape your habits, and build a life that feels both meaningful and resilient.
Start With Values can help you uncover your core principles and take those first steps. When you begin with values, you’re not just making promises to yourself—you’re building a foundation for a more aligned, resilient, and fulfilling life.
This new year, choose values over resolutions. The difference is profound.
Praise for Start With Values
"Brad Hook takes you on a light, engaging and integral journey into the role of values in life. Then simply, and clearly, he guides you through a process to define and focus on those values that really matter to you. Then, in my view most importantly, he shows you how to link your chosen values into practical, achievable actions that can be built into your day—and then progressively into your life.
The book is loaded with practical suggestions that you can action in your own life. It is respectful of our different perspectives and priorities. Importantly, Brad reminds us that transitions in life call for renewal. Our values must flex with our own journeys and the environments we find ourselves in.
Start with Values is a keeper. You can work your way through all of it or you can dive into the parts that call to you. Go back to it and keep your values alive and aligned."
Dr Sven Hansen, (MBChB, MBA), Founder, Resilience Institute
"Start with Values" provides a compass that can help you navigate the complexities of modern life. It will help you find your north star, your purpose, as well as yourself. If leading a worthy life matters to you, and I suspect it does,I recommend you start with this book.
Tal Ben-Shahar, PhD, New York Times Bestselling author ofHappier, No Matter What, Happiness Studies expert and teacher of two of the largest classes in Harvard University’s history.