What It Takes to Be a Resilient Coach or Leader: Insights on Presence, Growth, and Impact
A Conversation with Dr. Marcia Reynolds on Presence, Growth, and Impact
There’s a quiet power in coaching that often goes unnoticed. It’s not about asking the perfect question or applying the right model. It’s about how we show up, especially when someone else is struggling to think, lead, or move forward. That’s what makes coaching both challenging and deeply human.
To explore this further, we sat down with Dr. Marcia Reynolds, former president of the International Coaching Federation, globally recognized leadership coach, and author of Coach the Person, Not the Problem. In this episode of the Resilience Podcast, she shares what it really means to be a resilient coach and how presence, more than performance, unlocks real transformation.
Why Presence Is the Foundation of Resilience
When asked what matters most in building resilience through coaching, Dr. Reynolds immediately brings it back to presence. Without presence, clients can’t feel safe enough to open up, reflect, or change. “If I break presence, I might break their feeling of safety.” Presence is not passive. It’s the anchor that holds space when emotions are high, when thinking is cloudy, or when someone is sitting in discomfort. And too often, coaches rush that moment, trying to get to the solution or prove their worth.
“When you slow down, you actually move faster,” Dr. Reynolds says. It’s in stillness that real transformation begins.
Key takeaway: Presence builds psychological safety, the foundation of all meaningful coaching and resilience work.
What Actually Makes Coaching Transformational?
Coaching, as Dr. Reynolds reminds us, isn’t about having the answers. It’s about helping others think more clearly. Where training and advice activate the rational, task-driven part of the brain, coaching engages the creative, reflective parts where real insight lives. “When I reflect your story back to you and ask, ‘How is that working for what you want?’ you begin to see differently,” she explains.
That shift doesn’t come from strategy or skill alone. It comes from slowing down, listening fully, and being willing to walk with, not ahead of, your client. “I’m not here to fix you. I’m here to think with you,” Dr. Reynolds says.
Key takeaway: Coaching is transformational when it helps people think, not just act, differently.
What Do Coaches Get Wrong About Feedback?
So much of coaching happens in the space between questions and reflection. And yet, many coaches and leaders still default to feedback as their main tool. Dr. Reynolds challenges that. “Feedback triggers the same stress response as a police car pulling up behind you.” Instead of correcting, she teaches leaders and coaches to stay curious. Ask, “What are you trying to achieve here?” or “How can I support you with this?”
This approach removes the threat and replaces it with partnership. It invites people to reflect instead of defend. And it turns even difficult conversations into moments of growth.
Key takeaway: Ditch the feedback reflex. Ask questions that help others think instead of shutting them down.
How Can Leaders Shift into a Coaching Mindset?
Shifting from expert to coach can feel awkward, especially for leaders used to being the one with answers. But the first step is simple: name the shift. “Let people know,” Dr. Reynolds suggests. “Tell your team: I’m learning a new way to lead. I want your support.”
Being transparent about your growth builds trust. It creates permission for others to grow too. And it signals that leadership isn’t about control, it’s about co-creation. Leaders who coach well model the mindset they hope to inspire in others.
“It’s okay to feel awkward,” she adds. “But when you name it, you create trust.”
Key takeaway: Transparency builds credibility. Let others see you learning. It’s part of leadership.
What Should Coaches Understand About Their Own Growth?
For many coaches, the toughest lesson is that coaching isn’t about performance. It’s about presence. Coaches often come from “telling” professions—teachers, therapists, consultants—and the first internal shift is learning to stop proving and start listening. “The first shift is into coaching presence. The second is into mastery, where you let go of technique and fully show up.”
Mastery isn’t about perfection. It’s about being real, grounded, and willing to stay in the discomfort of growth, both yours and your client’s. “You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be present.”
Key takeaway: Coaching mastery comes from presence, not performance. Let go of technique and fully show up.
We Care for Coaches: Try the Resilience Assessment Free Until May 31
If you are a coach, this is your chance to pause and check in with yourself. As part of our “We Care for Coaches” campaign, we’re offering free access to our Resilience Assessment until May 31.
This science-backed tool measures 50 key factors that shape your well-being, stress recovery, focus, emotional agility, and performance. It takes less than 10 minutes to complete and provides you with a detailed, personalized report—plus access to practical resources to strengthen your resilience in the areas that matter most.
Your (anonymous) results will also contribute to our first Global Report on Coaches’ Well-Being, helping us better understand the real needs, risks, and strengths within the coaching community worldwide.
Take the assessment for free until May 31
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